I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
