I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is it penis luge time yet?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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