yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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