Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
