why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
