..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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