Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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