Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
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No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
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I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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