he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
