can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
