drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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