I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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