I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
