For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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