dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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