i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Randomize
