WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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