I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
