last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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