break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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