just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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