Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
