dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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