My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
