just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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