dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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