you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
its liver damage thursday
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
