You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We need to feng shui this bitch.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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