i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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