i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize