Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No more Irish car bombs ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
