There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
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I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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