I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
