Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
