we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
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Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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