I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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