Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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