right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
