So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize