my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
