you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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