Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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