I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
