oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
