yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
