Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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