I met the friendliest cop last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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