so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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