College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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