rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize