is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
