I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
