Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
