Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
