Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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