My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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