I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
