Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Randomize
