I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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