That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
