its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
