Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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