booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
