Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You need a sexual gate keeper
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
