What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
