I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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