I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
