Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
