to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
