That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
