The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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